For some reason I happen to be extremely depressed and sad when the whole world around me is happy. I can't think of the last time I was truly happy in a month. Maybe when I got my first paycheck and that lasted for all of a day. I don't know if it's because I forced myself to realize that once more, no one truly cares or what, but I'm so sick of being depressed. I've done nothing but cry for nearly two damn weeks. It's so dumb! I don't cry. It's like a major no no. I haven't cried for like 16 out of the 17 years I've been alive, so why now? I'm going through some major hardships in finances with my family. My friends have all gone wacko and I'm just thoroughly lost. I'm not sure whether up is down or down is east. All I know is that I'm supposed to get all my homework done a still do the millions of chores that my parents give me and still work and be vice president of my art club. I'm totally numb anymore. And I never ever talk to my mom. She's like unapproachable. I have to suck it up and get it all done or everything I know gets taken away from me. My parents see me as lazy. I'm just trying to have fun, but they keep making it harder. I know this is just a whole woe is me kinda thing, but it's coming to the point where it's interfering with my art. I have a lot of pieces that need to be put up on DA and I simply don't have the time and my scanner is crappy as hell. I can't wait until I get out of this house and into college. Maybe I will actually get to do something.

I'm just so stuck in a hopeless position. My mind does nothing but weep all day and it's hard to think when you're like that. Not to mention that I have two papers due and a lot of freaking literature homework. Plus I still have a pan left over in the sink because I didn't have time to get to it because I was doing homework, so I'll probably hear about that in the morning.

Anybody read this at all? If you've got an idea for me to relieve stress and sadness, other than just crying all the time, please let me know. This is all becoming too hard to bare. I could really use some help.